MENSA INVITATIONAL

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any
word from the Dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supplying a new definition.

The 2006 winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
that it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day, consuming
only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come
at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
you're eating.

Anton